The Suburban Evangelical Mega-Church Hymn

An Evangelical Church Blues Original
by V.I. Wilderness
The the tune of "A Mighty Fortress is Our God"

Verse 1
A whitey fortress is our church,
catering to yuppies;
We're found out in the suburbs,
with space to park your SUV;
It's landscaped oh so well!
God's blessed us you can tell!
The building is world-class,
but please stay off the grass!
The turf - it cost a fortune.

Verse 2
When you come in the front door,
the sight will take your breath away;
We've got a great big coffee bar,
where you can get a latte!
Just ask for extra foam,
and then begin to roam,
for elsewhere on the floor
you'll find the church book store -
where you can spend more money!

Verse 3
We've got our service on CD
So you can listen in your Escalade!
We even have the DVD
on THX it can be played!
There's Christian rock CDs
and Jesus novelties!
The latest worldly fads
like bracelets and mousepads,
stamped with a fish or Jesus name!

Verse 4
Then enter our big sanctuary,
complete with stadium seating!
My goodness, aren't you quite impressed
with the world we're competing!
Our sound's state-of-the-art,
and it sets us apart!
Most churches can't compete!
We've got the others beat!
With us we're sure God's happy!

Verse 5
With thousands thronging to our church,
we think we're doing something right!
We're sure you will be happy here,
if you're middle-class and predominately white.
Just don't forget your tithe,
so our vision stays alive!
Our elders all agree,
it's time to build phase three!
For bigger's always better!

Why Mega-Church Did Away with Drama

The local Mega-Church used to have a fairly active "Drama Ministry" (how the Church came up with its' nomenclature surrounding theater arts I'll never know). Somewhere along the way the whole kit-n-caboodle got nixed by the Senior Pastor. The reasoning was that the Pastor felt bound to "explain" the drama in his sermon to the congregation which meant that the drama had to link directly to the message, and if the Holy Spirit led the Pastor to change his message at the last minute the drama wouldn't make sense.

There are (at least) two problems I have with this line of reasoning:

First, the pastor is really dissing his congregation if they can't watch a short sketch and get the message without it being explained. Either the pastor is arrogant, the congregation is really ignorant, or the sketch is poorly written and performed. Knowing a little bit about Mega-Church, the people who attend and the talent of those involved - I would rule out the last two.

Sadly, this is really a common problem. We have strayed so far from our understanding of metaphor and our ability to use Christ-like creativity in communicating the message, that church leadership feels compelled to spoon-feed an explanation to the masses.

Second, the pastor's reasoning assumes that a dramatic sketch can't stand on its' own as an effective communication tool, and that any struggling to grasp the metaphor is a bad thing. Even Jesus did not feel the need to explain the parables (a metaphorical teaching tool he introduced that was difficult for many of his listeners to grasp), and did so only when pressed by his followers. Jesus seemed content to communicate the metaphor and let the listeners and the Holy Spirit sort it out. A pretty good model to follow, if you ask me. If the body can't watch a sketch and "get it" without the pastor's help then perhaps the pastor should also explain each hymn, each worship song, and the cover art on the bulletin.

God, Art & Metaphor (Part 2)

Instead of embracing our Lord's creative nature, the church has shunned it.
Instead of celebrating the Creator's Spirit inside each of us, the church has suppressed it.
Instead of using metaphor to be the Light, the church has hidden it under a bushel to control it.

Metaphor is a scary concept to church leaders. The church likes to control what we see, what we hear, what we read, and what we think. Our primary mode of communicating the Message remains the pulpit, and one person in the pulpit is very controlled communication. In addition, church leaders commonly view the members of the body as mindless sheep. They pridefully maintain that the sheep need very simple, direct communication from their rare, ordained, ecclesiastical knowledge.

"They won't get what you're trying to say in that painting."
"I'll only have to explain to them what the drama really means."
"It's too high-brow for them."

Artists, like the prophets of old, express themselves in metaphor - and people expressing themselves in metaphor can be very messy business. You could end up with Ezekiel building a model of Jerusalem out of Legos and acting silly. You might end up with Jeremiah running naked through Jerusalem with a yoke on his shoulders. You could have Isaiah using a used tampon as an expression of the nation's sin. You could wind up with Hosea marrying a whore. We can't have that. It will only confuse the simple, ignorant sheep. Besides,

It's not socially acceptable.
It's uncomfortable.
It will generate uncomfortable conversations I can't control.
People won't get it, and I'm not sure I get it myself.
It will cause a flood of angry letters and e-mails I don't have time to answer.
I might lose my job.

Let's just stick with what we know. Let's just do what's most comfortable; with what we've always done; with what works (or not).

Artists commonly complain that the church doesn't understand them and won't accept them. But really, it shouldn't be that surprising. Israel killed their prophets because they didn't like the message of their metaphors. The church kills the spirits of their artists by not even allowing them to express themselves in metaphor. If we don't even allow the artist-prophet in the door then we don't have to go through the whole bloody mess of killing them. Let them just waste away outside the church walls. It's much easier on everyone.

There is nothing new under the sun.

Yet, while the bodies of the prophets were hewn by their own and left for dead, the message (the metaphors) of the prophets endured and has spoken to endless generations. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then it is a powerful communication tool. It is just as worthwhile as a thousand word sermon and more lasting - for while the sermon goes in the ear and is quickly forgotten, the picture remains before the eye as a constant reminder - an enduring message.

Our churches are dying. The Message is falling on deaf ears.

We need to find new and powerful ways of communicating the Message. We need to reclaim the Creator's Spirit within us. We need to express the Message in metaphors that stir the hearts of our generation.