Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Divorce of Reason

I went through a divorce a while back [waiting for exlamations of repulsion to die down]. It has been interesting to experience, first hand, the church's reaction to it. Recently, a friend told me of a mutual acquaintance who was interested in taking a recurring class that I teach (of course it took a while for the church to let me teach after the divorce - apparently divorce invalidates your spiritual gifts for a vague period of time - I never knew that). "I don't know if I can take the class," the person communicated to my friend. When asked why, this person responded, "He's divorced!" - spoken in a tone that would suggest I had just contracted AIDS or had voted Democrat or something.

Fast-forward. It became public that I was engaged to marry a wonderful woman from our church. This person approached my friend with excitment. "I'm so excited. I can take the class now!" they exclaimed. When asked why it was suddenly okay, the person said, "because he's getting remarried! It's okay now! It makes all the difference!"


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At 9:30 AM, Blogger unmuzzled said...

first time to your blog. i totally get you.

At 10:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah get you. I am a divorced woman. I divorced an abusive, philadering, unfaithful, and abdondoning man. Makes no difference. Lest I remarry I will never be accepted in Evangelical churches no matter how much lip service they give to being accepting to the divorced. I recently became a born again Christian and tried very hard to fit in. I did all the right things. Baptism by immersion, got myself and boys involved. Volunteered by time and gifts. Doesn't matter. I cannot tell you how poorly we were treated and as second-class citiznes. I am leaving the evangelical church. My roots were in the epioscopal faith. Astonishment, they actually allow divorced people to minister adn treat them as equal members of society not some evil stepchild, and they except homosexuals and all other manners of dysfunctional folks... The evangelicals would be appalled. However, I am thinking just maybe I should return to where I came from. I don't think I can take any more rejection and humiliation and feeling like a leper in the evangelical churches. My two wonderful boys (15 and 11) don't deserve to be treated like lepers either. Sad... NOw I suppose if were to snag any good ole boy at church and be suddenly married I would be invited to every women's event and fit right in with the merry ole evangelical married world...I would be part of the spiritiual "in" crowd rather than the unseemly divorcee... I am seeing how pathetic this really is. I don't see much in the way of God or Jesus in any of this. But a lot of judgment and hypocrites. I don't know what I was thinking by converting to this mode of faith. I guess loneliness and wanting to belong will drive you to do some insane things. At least I only wasted a few months on this.


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